Saturday, November 26, 2022

The sociopathy associated with car centric holiday toys

I was on my way to pick up a tofurkey with my cargo bike this week when I came across this truly disturbing sight. Someone out there has purchased a starter SUV for their 4 year old. This item should be nowhere near innocent children. Why get them started so young on a life of traffic violence? It got me very depressed and it made me think of all the other popular car centric toys that are sold by the millions every year. Let's recap:
Matchbox cars. Collect them all. Well matchbox is an appropriate name since the real versions of these vehicles frequently implode. Terrible choice for under the Christmas tree. I'm thinking of starting a miniature replica bike toy biz to combat this car culture. And not one, but two, police cars in this set! Defund, don't lionize!
Sure, this thing with its bright cheerful colors looks innocent enough, but why introduce your kid to sitting behind the wheel of a gas guzzler as a toddler? What a sick mentality. We only see this depravity in 'Murica, folks!
Ultimate garage? Why are we indocrinating youngsters with the notion that parking should be plentiful? I weep for this generation.
Transformers - more than mets the eye! I'll say. Why not mention the fossil fuels in the bellies of all these creatures and how they are destroying the planet instead of actually saving it?
The F'ing Hess Truck. I truly despise this thing. Nothing says Christmas like trucking combustible fluid around the country to help people engage in wanton consumerism. And this one isn't even hauling gas but "hot rods" which no doubt will be used to run down Christmas carolers. Oh, the inhumanity!

Difficult subjects: Let's talk about Tracy Chapman

I headed over to Wegman's today on my $7,000 cargo bike to see if there were any Presidents Day sales on soy based meat. While browsing...